Falling in vanilla

I have recently started to date a wonderful woman. She's smart, sexy, beautiful and submissive. Feels like I'm about to fall deeply in love with her, and I belive the feeling is mutual. At the same time it feels like I'm about to fall in a deep, slippery barrel of vanilla.

Not that I mind some old fashioned vanilla sex once in a while. I need that sort of cozy, gentle sex every now and then. And of course you get extra cuddly, cute and sweet when you are about to fall in love.

For me the problem is that I feel that with a BDSM-relationship you also set the parameters regarding the roles in the beginning. Aside from falling in love with each other as persons we are also attracted to each other from our respective position as dom and sub. And as a dominant I find that it can be a little bit hazardous to get too gentle, cuddly and sweet.

So how can one find the balance in this situation? How can one still be emerged in the wonderful world of falling in love and still remain in the mindframe as a dominant partner? I personally struggle with this, but just being aware of this from earlier relationships helps. Another thing that I belive helps is trying to be in surroundings with other people active in the BDSM-community. I am very pleased that for our next rendezvous we have decided to visit a fetish-party together. The near future looks indeed very exiting.