What makes you what you are?

I don't belive in divine intervention or any other alien force controlling us. I belive we are the products of our enviroment and our experiences. To some small degree we might also be under the influence of our own individual DNA-cocktail.

I do belive that there are significant events in life that defines and shapes us. I belive my first sexual experience with Mowgli was such an event.

Strangly it did'nt focus my sexual orientation towards guys. As soon as puberty set in I became very obsessed with girls. I can still feel sexually attracted towards some guys (especially towards younger, skinny boys with tanned skin), but I always fall in love with girls.

But one thing I do belive started from playing with Mowglis Big Jim-dolls is my connection with agression and sex.

Maybee this was that one thing that started to orientate me towards the world of sado-masochism and BDSM.

But that part of my sexuality was mainly imagination and fantasies for alot of years. My instincts was colliding with my upbringing since I was thought that all people are equal, and never to impose my will against the wishes of another.

Much later in life was I to learn that you could combine those beliefs and still have the pleasure of controlling and dominating another person sexually.